Ondine Review: Swept Away

ONDINE (12A): On General Release From Friday 5th March

In all honesty, I wasn’t too happy when my editor sent me off to watch Ondine. Personally I find it hard to see anything appealing about Colin Farrell – apart from his roguish good looks of course (I’m only human).

But after watching his latest effort, I’d like to take this opportunity to say that I’ve completely changed my mind – I now love him.

Ondine sees Farrell play luckless fisherman Syracuse, whose life is turned upside down when he catches a woman called Ondine in his net. Syracuse is immediately entranced by her breathtaking beauty and mysterious nature, and decides to put her up in his mother’s cottage by the water. Do It!

James Cameron’s Hiroshima Project Already In Trouble

James ‘King of The World’ Cameron has hit a roadblock in his new project.

I previously reported that Cameron was considering making an adaptation of The Last Train From Hiroshima by Charles Pellegrino. Now, probably not so much.

Variety reports that recent investigations by the Associated Press have revealed that some of the details in the book are suspicious. The book documents the dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima and the people who survived the blast.

But apparently, the truth wasn’t good enough for Pellegrino, so he fudged the facts a little. Now the book is being pulled from publication and those who’ve already bought the book are being told to seek refunds .

Pellegrino’s publishers, Henry Holt, released this statement:

“It is easy to understand how even the most diligent author could be duped by a source, but we also understand that opens that book to very detailed scrutiny. The author of any work of non-fiction must stand behind its content. We must rely on our authors to answer questions that may arise as to the accuracy of their work and reliability of their sources. Unfortunately, Mr. Pellegrino was not able to answer the additional questions that have arisen about his book to our satisfaction.”

Can I order a huge ‘Doh!’ forehead slap for Mr. Cameron please?

Pellegrino also served as an advisor on Avatar. My guess is that it was he who grabbed a copy of the Pocahontas script, crossed out the title and wrote Avatar instead.

Ben Stiller Confirms Zoolander 2

Ben Stiller recently told MTV that plans for a sequel to the 2001 hit Zoolander are definitely in motion.

Stiller played brainless fashion model Derek Zoolander who was almost brainwashed into assassinating the Prime Minister of Malaysia.

Derek had to rely on his catwalk nemesis Hansel (Owen Wilson) to stop the evil Jacobim Mugatu (Will Ferrell) from carrying out the kill.

“We’re in the process of getting a script written, so it’s in the early stages. But yeah, it’s going to happen.” Thank God, we’ll get to see more really, really ridiculously good-looking people.

But things are going to be different this time around. “I think the idea in the beginning of the movie is that it’s 10 years later, and Derek and Hansel are literally forgotten. Nobody remembers who they are, so they have to reinvent themselves.”

On whether or not Will Ferrell will be involved, Stiller commented that, “If Will says yes, he definitely has to be part of it. To me, Mugatu is one of the classic screen villains of all time.”

But is it too little, too late for a Zoolander sequel? I mean, Owen Wilson still looks as hot as hell but I think Stiller might have lost his sex appeal.

Russell Brand To Star In Arthur Remake

Wild haired comic and sexual tyrannosaurus, Russell Brand, is set to star in a remake of the classic comedy Arthur.

The original 1981 movie saw Dudley Moore play drunken millionaire Arthur, who is forced to choose between the love of Liza Minelli and millions of dollars. I know what I would have chosen.

According to Variety, the film will be helmed by Modern Family director Jason Winer and exec. producers will be Brand, Scott Kroopf, J.C. Spink and Nick Linnen.

But it’s the writer that looks like the most interesting part of the lineup so far. Peter Baynham, writer of Borat and Brass Eye, is penning the script, so there’s a good chance that it’s going to be absolutely filthy.

Brand became known as a scene stealer after a genius comic turn in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which has earned him his own spinoff, Get Him To The Greek. I’m not sure how closely the character of Arthur will be to Moore’s portrayal but if Russell Brand’s playing an alcoholic millionaire, I’m betting there’ll be more than a few giggles in store.

Tangled Teaser Trailer

Though I’m still cut up about the change of title, I still turn into a giddy schoolgirl at each piece of news on Disney’s new film Tangled.

Previously called Rapunzel, the film tells the tale of a long-haired lovely who’s been trapped in a tower for 18 years. But her world is turned upside down when she encounters an infamous bandit named Flynn Rider.

Romance, adventure and hair related issues quickly follow. So far, only a few characters have been announced but we know that Mandy Moore will voice Rapunzel and Chuck star Zachary Levi will voice Flynn.

While there isn’t too much information about the film at the moment, you can catch the teaser trailer for Tangled on the The Princess And The Frog Blu Ray.

Or you could watch it right here.

Fox 2000 To Adapt British Novel Incarceron

Fox 2000 has won a bidding war to secure the rights to British fantasy novel Incarceron.

Honestly, Id never heard of this book until this morning, but apparently Fox are desperate to get their hands on a franchise that will outshine Harry Potter. Good luck with that.

Written by Catherine Fisher, the novel was first released in the UK in 2007 but the US only got a few weeks ago. Now everybody wants their hands on the book after it gained a spot on the New York Times’ best seller list. While directors and writers are yet to be attached to the project, Variety reports that Hugh Jackman’s company Seed Productions will be involved.

For everyone else who’s never heard of the series, here’s the official synopsis:

Incarceron is a prison so vast that it contains not only cells, but also metal forests, dilapidated cities, and vast wilderness. Finn, a seventeen-year-old prisoner, has no memory of his childhood and is sure that he came from Outside Incarceron.

Very few prisoners believe that there is an Outside, however, which makes escape seems impossible. And then Finn finds a crystal key that allows him to communicate with a girl named Claudia. She claims to live Outside—she is the daughter of the Warden of Incarceron, and doomed to an arranged marriage.

Finn is determined to escape the prison and Claudia believes she can help him. But they don’t realize that there is more to Incarceron than meets the eye, and escape will take their greatest courage and cost more than they know. Because Incarceron is alive.

OK, that doesn’t sound half bad to be honest, but can it best Hogwart’s finest? It might not trump Potter but it looks like it has a better chance than Fox’s previous attempts at franchises. Eragon, anyone?

*Runs out to jump on Incarceron bandwagon*.

Legion Review: Hell On Earth

LEGION (15): On General Release Friday 5th March

Angels are complicated characters to have in a movie, or at least they should be. They’re servants of God, are super powerful and ought to have amassed a millenia’s worth of knowledge while hanging about in heaven.

So an action movie in which two of God’s servants end up battling to the death should be pretty cool, right?

Well anyone who has seen the trailer for Legion might be under that impression, however once you’ve seen the movie you’ll realise how badly you were fooled.

Unsurprisingly, the Lord is really angry at us for not playing nicely with each other and rather than giving us a time-out, he’s decided to kill every last one of us. Whatever happened to the rapture? Anyway, holed up in the Mojave desert, a pregnant waitress named Charlie and the owners and patrons of a diner are set upon by the forces of God. Do It!

Worst Movie Dads Ever

To honour this week’s release of Robert De Niro’s new film, Everybody’s Fine, I have decided to look at some movie parents. But instead of nice mums and dads who can at least remember your name and birthday, I’m showcasing the very worst of film role models.

Well, I’ve actually just targeted movie fathers this time (I’ve got some daddy issues we need to work through).

This is our list of worst movie fathers ever…

HOMER SIMPSON – THE SIMPSON’S MOVIE

Now you might be thinking that Homer’s a helpless buffoon who doesn’t mean any harm. But he’s actually an alcoholic man-child who’s obviously in need of some parenting lessons. He rarely spends quality time with the kids and when they screw up, his solution is to strangle them. In The Simpson’s Movie he drags his family to Alaska and decides he’s too selfish to save Springfield from imminent destruction. He’s quite a guy.

Oh and he’s almost single-handedly given Lisa ‘middle child syndrome’. One of the worst possible role-models from movies and TV, this is Homer telling Bart and Lisa his philosophy on work.


Do It!

Roland Emmerich Takes On Shakespeare

King of destruction Roland Emmerich will be taking on Shakespeare for an upcoming project.

Turning his back on the CGI laden disaster-fests that he’s used to, Emmerich will turn the life of the bard into a thriller starring Rhys Ifans, Vanessa Redgrave and David Thewlis.

Empire spoke to the director and he explained his take on the life of our most influential literary figure.

“It’s a mix of a lot of things: it’s an historical thriller because it’s about who will succeed Queen Elizabeth and the struggle of the people who want to have a hand in it. It’s the Tudors on one side and the Cecils on the other, and in between [the two] is the Queen. Through that story we tell how the plays written by the Earl of Oxford ended up labelled ‘William Shakespeare’.”

So apparently Shakespeare stole the work of somebody else, rubbed out the name at the top and claimed them as his own. Right.

“We have Vanessa Redgrave as Queen Elizabeth; David Thewlis as William Cecil, old and young; and Rhys Ifans as The Earl Of Oxford. It’s a true English cast and I’m really proud of it. There’s 12 main characters and 20 or 30 other characters, and each of the characters is really good.”

To be honest, I’m not super pleased that Emmerich is the one behind this film but only time will tell.

New Farrelly Bros. Cast Gets Applegate & Milano

Goofball filmmakers, the Farrelly brothers, are recruiting cast members left and right for their next feature, Hall Pass.

The There’s Something About Mary directors have cooked up a script in which two guys are given the chance to have an affair by their wives. Things look good until the girls start to play away too.

Previously announced cast members are Amanda Bynes, Owen Wilson, Jenna Fischer and UK funnyman Stephen Merchant. Now The Hollywood Reporter has announced that Anchorman star Christina Applegate and Charmed’s Alyssa Milano will also star in the project in 2011.

Some people believe that Bobby and Peter Farrelly might have lost their touch with their last few movies not quite hitting the mark, but things seem to be shaping up for a comeback with Hall Pass.